It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
