Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
