he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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