ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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