the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
what day is it and did you see me today?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
