I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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