Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
