party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
