I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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