Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
