Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
