he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The beer is more important than you right now.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
