I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
