I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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