I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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