i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
