i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
