I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
