The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
