i jhust puked up my retainher.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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