how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
