there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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