I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
