this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
