Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Are we still banned from the library?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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