Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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