Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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