woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
