Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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