your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
