Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
