walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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