In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
