I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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