Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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