One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
