I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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