it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
