apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
