Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
