dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
