BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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