We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
