seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
