those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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