So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
