We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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