Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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