I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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