god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
