u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
